I was going to make a joke about Epstein being well hung but I didn’t want to be a pain in the neck.

I’m not impressed by money, job title, or social status

I’m impressed by the way someone treats other human beings

Now I ain't saying she's a gold digger but I did see her buying one of those miner hat things with a light on it

I’m sorry I seasoned you while you were taking a nap.

Yes I do realize there's nobody here. Why?

Give me the mashed potatoes and nobody gets hurt

I'm not allways a sweet boy.
I kill spiders sometimes.

スマホゲームだよ(๑╹ω╹๑ )

Now wake the fuck up ya'll!
You have responsibilities to ignore.

[First Date]

She: What do you like to do?
Me: Ride my bike and stuff
Me: And you?
She: I'm into fisting

Ok but if you were blind, would you still like them?


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